Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Whats your favorite MJ song?

If I had to choose!! This would be my all time favorite!

I'm going to hell!!

I'm sorry Jesus..but...I laughed and frowned at the same time as I watched this.

It made me feel weird.

Man I'm fresh as hell w/ my Hoodie on !

Your blog sucks !!

Hey, guess what?

Yeah..your blog is shitty!

Cause all you do is talk about people. You "Gossip Girl"

Go head wit cho bad self! You "got your shit together" huh?

[Chris Crocker] Bitch Please! [/Chris Crocker]

Your personality matches one of a rock.


Oh but you sure do got one hell of a mouth, and that mufucka keeps any and everybody's name in it.


You go getter you!


GO Chris !

Monday, December 14, 2009

Word Association.

Promises - Lies

Family - Disloyal

Success - Future

Love - Spoiled

Happiness - Distant

Sleep - Deprived

Forgive - Heal

Forget - Never

Settle - Less

Life - Journey

Defeated - Weak

Obey - God

Cleanse - Cry

Wealth - Spiritual

Monday, December 7, 2009

I feel, pointless..

i feel stuck. my life is on pause, because of certain circumstances. something in my heart just doesn't feel right. I pray, i ask God to guide me, give me the wisdom I need to move forward, the skill, the will. and its as if my faith is void. I know he hears me, he's working on my behalf, i just don't know how to receive what he's telling me to do. i fill like i'm taking up space, like i could easily be replaced. and i know thats not the case. everyone was made with a unique purpose in mind...but...what is mine? i sing, i write, i tell stories that may help someone, but...will it ever reach the right ear? i feel...dead....as if i'm just a walking spirit in limbo. you know, the space between heaven and hell...which i believe to be earth. i just feel like i'm running on a treadmill, with my goal a mile ahead of me, and i'll never reach it...because i'm on a treadmill....i'm running and running as fast as i can, but i'm not going anywhere. i even feel, worthless..in a financial sense...i depend on my parent to much. and, mary told me it was normal...granted i'm only 21 and am in the stage of becoming an adult. but i only half believe that. yes...i am in the stage of becoming an adult...however...i don't believe i should be so dependent on my parents. i've always been a fairly independent person, holding down multiple jobs at once. but when high school ended, i decided to put my all into following my dream of becoming a sing/song writer, that i lost grip of what it was like to have a "real job" as some of my close loved ones call it. i can only say to them...a 9-5 isn't for me..and i know, you have to start somewhere...i just don't know where or how to start. stuck...that feeling is the worst feeling to ever feel i believe.

and when your stuck, your vulnerable to any and everything. and if your vulnerable, thats a weakness, no one praises weakness, no praise or complements for what you are passionate about discourages you, being discouraged leads to feeling defeated...and when your defeated your hopeless...when your hopeless, you quit..and quitters.... quitters are pointless....


Thursday, December 3, 2009

My biggest fear

My biggest fear is not being acceptable in God's eyes.
My biggest fear is not being all that i was made to be.
My biggest fear is that someone i love will be left behind on judgement day.
My biggest fear is that i will fail.
My biggest fear is that life is an illusion.
My biggest fear is that my children will not love me.
My biggest fear is that divorce will claim my marriage.
My biggest fear is being inadequate.

My BIGGEST fear...

is actually fear

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

You better say that!


Quote Pictures, Images and Photos

Dear Arie...

Quote Pictures, Images and Photos

--love, your best friend..Jess

a DAMN mess!!

I'm a Nicki fan..however...this..shouldn't be happening

Can you teach you child to speak correctly first!!


World AIDS day!!

Stop AIDS, keep the promise!

Get tested!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Simple Beauty

I've taken you for granted.
Jealous of the colors i've not seen
but i have you right in front of me
And its like, i couldn't even hear you..
Even if you screamed.

Dear God,
Forgive us.
thank you for my sight
If it were ever taken away from me
i'd cry
and tantrum,
all night

Dear God,
I love you
for the people that matter most
the ones who have always been here
and for showing the ones who coast.

Dear Lord,
I'm grateful
for the god
and everything in between

Dear Lord,
Im just happy, i got anything.

I promise to love things that are small
So that when the big come, I can tell the difference.

the simple things that most look over

simple gestures like, a comforting hand on the shoulder.

or the green trees that turn to brown

or being able to smell...

the simple beauty thats been here long before i was created.

thank you.

I've said it before....

But, you didn't listen

shoved off the thought as if...I, was trippin.

now your stuck

hearts all twisted...

just think...

it would have been easy...

had you listend..

So i guess....

this is....

I told you so!!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Chris Brown- Graffiti Album

Although the Graffiti Album is not official released...well...I've got it like that! I've listen to the Album in its entirety and I've come to the conclusion...Chris will never be the same. We all know about the "beating" and stories of what happened blah blah bullshit! I don't care to know what happened, I just wish he hadn't let it consume his music. The whole album is about Rihanna, and his attempted to win her back. Dear Chris, let it go! I know that when you love someone it is indeed hard to let them go easily, but its fucking with his head, his music..and damnit its fucking with me thoroughly enjoying the Chris we all used to love. I want 'Take you down' Chris, I loved 'Poppin' Chris, and 'Wall to Wall' Chris. I don't want to hear him sad and depressed, I don't like the 'Crawl' Chris. And every time I see a new photo of him, his eyes just don't look the same. I'm sad for him, I'm sad at the whole situation. I MISS CHRIS!!!!

Dear Chris, I am praying for you, I wish you the best of everything. Please return to us safely!!!

P.S: The Album cover...WACK...who designed that fuckery? It has nothing to do with Graffiti! I see outer space and some little demon at the bottom...wtf..

but...thats just my two cents that nobody asked for.

Sad face

Another tattoo

Although I don't understand it...I think its beautiful..

Its not for me to understand.


umm, very artistic....but, demons on your tongue?

hell no!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


They're an expression...

of how you feel,

who you are....where you live,

what you love

what you believe.......

What do you believe???

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Dear Procrastinator,

Who lives within…

Move out…


I hate you,

You’ve caused me to fumble many successes,

Lose plenty sleep

I don’t like the way you’ve made me

So coy and so meek

I wasn’t built this way

It happened when fear moved in

So you and your roomate fear,

Gotta go!!!

You only pay your dues

When it’s beneficial to you

And you’re constantly mingling with doubt

I can’t have those kinds of emotions occupying my space

This free living is over..

This is your eviction notice

Thank you,

Signed, Property Manager!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

I confess...

I have a confession...

I am...

not who you think I am...

I have lied to you...and even worse to myself

I've been keeping this secret for quite some time

never knew the right time to expose the truth

it always seemed too soon.

i wasn't ready.

but now...I'm ready to embrace it.

Accept it.

I have a confession.

I'm not who you think I am.

I'm not the girl in the photos.

.......I'm the girl inside the girl the photos.

And I am ready to come forth.

Make a name for myself.

A photo can only tell you so much...

But I,

.....I can tell you everything.

I want to let you in

Explain my insecurities

Because in here...where i dwell...

there are many

but few i cannot concur!

I listened to Miley,

You know what she said?

"I can almost see it, that dream i'm dreaming but,

There's a voice inside my head says, you'll never reach it."

I know that voice, I know it so well

And you know what I say in return?


For speaking to it only makes it feel important.

I ignore it an move forward.

I confess....

Whats your confession?

Monday, November 2, 2009


I miss you...

Since you've been gone..

....I haven't been the same..

I've changed

I'll never forget the taste of you....

Your smell..

the way you ran your fingers through my hair

....and you'd tell me I was beautiful..

even with no make-up...

and.....how you'd call me in the morning to wish me a good day...


I remember the good things..


i'll never forget the bad....

Monday, October 19, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

And I feel myself more than before

Cool Photo


Alone I stand
A solo destiny
Mirrors dont reflect
They just...
Show whats left of me
Shattered pieces..
Of broken glass
No glue can mend it
So I settle for half
To my left
And my right..

And ALL my surroundings

I notice...

Theres no one around me

No one to understand

No helping hands


Scowls of those who look down on me

With an ever growing frown for me.

No one really knows just who I am

So I bottle it up

Send it off to sea

Hope that one day it lands in the sand

One day...

Someone will pick the bottle up,

Twist the cap

And open it up.

That day, I will be free

Today is that day.

Today I am free.


Monday, October 5, 2009

Your remind me of New York

Look at those lights
They remind me of the very first night
I fell in love with you
It felt so bright
Cause I was glowing on the inside
It was so right
You remind me of New York
I love the city and Flashing lights
The make me fall in love again
Every single night
And every moment I get
I fall in love with you
Over and over again
You remind me of New York

You inspire me to write...

I miss the way you used to hold me at night.
And I even miss the way you made me cry.
The little things I used to complain about that you didn't do
don't even matter cause all I needed was you.
And now that your gone
and I'm here left alone to mend my heart.
Makes me want to erase your memory from my thoughts.
I wish I could I forget all the days that we spent together.
But when I remember all shit, you did.
I see, what I miss is not you.
I miss the thought of havin a boo.
Sorry. . . .
You fool. :)

Friday, September 25, 2009

Friday, September 18, 2009


MUSIC MONDAY: This weeks SPOTLIGHT, four talented hip hop acts hailing from NE Ohio.



mixtape IT WILL NEVER MAKE SENSE available for download Sept. 25

(Under His Moon due for release in early 2010).


RedEYE DeadEYE 2010

Flash makes his mixtape debut on June 30th, releasing "Birth Of A Hero", presented by Giant Media and Elusion Clothing (http://elusionclothing.com/), hosted by Emilio Sparks. He already done several shows in his home state and is now looking to get his music to people all over the world. Be on the lookout for Flash.G this year.



An eclectic minded individual whose mental state parallels galaxies and generations. Alone he stands, to be offered a position to lead his league to greatness. Patience, a distinct virtue of the kid hailing from Akron Ohio, where emerging as an only child for 14 years mutated the mental state of the being. The solitude made his character much equipped beyond years of his fellow peers.
Mixtape Mind over Matter Avaliable for download this fall!!!

KEYEL is a hip hop group hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, consisting of emcee’s Prose, Holy Moly, Pease, and DJ ESO. While the emcees have been childhood friends for many years, the collective that is now known as KEYEL was born from a mutual love of raw hip hop and appreciation of similar influences. The crew met DJ ESO while wyling out at a Slum Village show- and the beginning of a musical experience had begun. (Via Keyelmusic.com)

For more info on KEYEL visit http://www.keyelmusic.com/


Sorry dear Blog. I miss you like you miss me!
I'll be back to give you love.
As soon as my charger comes.
Signed- Jess :)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I blame ADAM music

I've started a writing/music group :)
Yay for me...climbing the latter of success!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

let's kiss

Stole this from Re'Anna Browne's Fb, I just thought it was adorable.
But she must have her credit! 0:-)


Do know who I am?
Can you see right thru me?
I don't think so.
So don't judge me.
I'm much deeper than the shell you see.
And I got a lot of parts to me.
You don't know what I go thru.
And I don't know the same of you.
Finger pointing is for fools.
Its like something you shoulda learned in elementary school.
I know I'm not perfection, never claim to be.
But it feels like the world is turning its head on me.
And thats okay.
Cause I flow against the current anyway.
I'm not asking for you to accept me.
All I want from the world is to respect me.
I run my own life, I spend my own time.
With God as my advisor and a friend on my side.
I got the whole world against me, but the lord always stays with me.
He'll never flake like the snow.
When I run dry of love to give his ever lasting river still flows.
But all I'm sayin is, without you. . . . I'm still good.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


September 19th 1988 I was born.
On September 19th 2009, I will be 21...wha the hell?
I still feel 12! lol
Ah well...Im legal now...
Happy Birthday self!
A pat on the back to me for not having any kids, not having a record and striving for my goals!
LA here I come!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

If you've got nothing from this....

well Idk what to tell you..

Think...Impossible IS possible.


Stars shine so bold
Lurking strangers,
Crisp cool air
The sun tucks down and makes the heat scurry


For the daylight,
Im in no hurry.

I love the night.
I stay awake for it,
Sleep when I get the chance,
Not wanting to chance...

Missing night.

Party time, hang out spot.

Moon light canvas.
Moods so right.

Everythings right....



Forget about tomorrow, for its already here

When the clock strikes twelve, marking it as midnight.

Some become worried, staying in with fright.

But they all miss the beauty.

Of the dark....cold of...


I think he's totally funny....

Behind every SUCCESSFUL person....

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


He makes me warm inside....
Makes me smile so wide....
He even give me butterflies....
No ones ever done that....

Thats why...

He's special!

Monday, August 17, 2009


♥ Nictionary

The dictionary created by Nicki Minaj to walk pedestrians through her vocab and terminologies....


Official Secret Society Barbie Statement :

I'm a GIRL / and I'm RICH/ its BARBIE / YOU little BITCH!!!!!

Alfred Bitchcok : \ˈal-frəd - ˈbich - ˈkäk\ : noun

1: a term of endearment from one bitchy Harajuku Barbie to another. Generally used amongst BFF's.

Bad Bitch Check : \ˈbad - ˈbich - ˈchek\ : verb

1: is when a bad bitch looks in the mirror prior to an event in which stacks are involved.

Baldy Locks :\bal-dē-läks\: adjective

1: Good head.

Barbie Detention : \ˈbär-bē -di-ˈten-chən\ : noun

1: When the Harajuku Barbie herself puts one of her barbies on time-out for stating or doing something totally unfetch.

*only the HB can remove a barbie from Barbie Detention. Length of stay may vary.

*While on "BD" a barbie is required to do any task the "HB" asks of her in order to regain her position as a BARBIE. Tasks may vary.

Barbie Powers :/ˈbär-bē-pō-ər/:noun

1: to beam your thoughts to another Barbie without speaking.

2: to put a hex on strawberry shortcakes by wiggling your fingers at them.

BFF :/b-f-f/: noun

1: Barbie For FuckinEver

Bustitbarbie :\ˈbəst-ət-ˈbär-bēa\ : noun

1: a naughty barbie who knows how to make it up on her final exam.

Cater to your Ken Day:

One day a month when Barbie stops being a diva and grants her Ken's every wish

Chin Check : \ˈchin -ˈchek\ : verb

1: when an HB gets out of character to explain her fabulosity.

Chuckles : \ˈchə-kəl\ : verb

1: when a Harajuku Barbie laughs at the expense of one of her friends.

Doll House :\ˈdäl - ˈhau̇s\ : noun

1: a place where a Harajuku Barbie resides or stays while away on business.

Dolly Lama :/dä-lē-ˈlä-mə/: noun

1: a barbie that makes everyone around her feel at peace.

2: a problem solver.

3: the one you call when you're at your worst.

Fetch : \ˈfech\ : adjective

1: a term used to describe something a bitchy Harajuku Barbie really likes. *Only used with other HBs.

Gabbage Patch Kid :\ˈga-bij-pach-'kid\: noun

1: a bust down

2: a doll who wishes the barbies will adopt her.

GBR:\g-b-r\: verb

1: Abbreviation for "Got a Barbie Rollin".

Harajuku Barbie : \原宿\ : noun

1: refer to Harajuku.

Harajuku Ken : \原宿\ - noun

1: a man that "adds to" a "HB" by knowing when to "fall da fuk bak" and when to "step his dick up".


1: is an abbreviation of Harajuku Barbie.


1: is an abbreviation of Harajuku Ken.

It's BARBIE BITCH!!!!! : \əts - ˈbär-bē - ˈbich\

1: how Harajuku Barbies say good-bye.

Step Your Scotty Up : \ˈstep - yər - ˈskätē - əp\ : verb

1: refers to being up on the latest lyrics\lingo off of the new "Beam Me Up Scotty" CD.

Strawberry Shortcake : \ˈstrȯ-ˌber-ē - ˈshȯrt - ˈkāk\ : noun

1: a broke bitch ;

2: one who loses sight of her goals and her CAKE by focusing on BEEF and negativity.

Stud Muffin :\ˈstəd-mə-fən\: noun

1: a street savvy "man's man" who can only be tamed by a pink lipped barbie.

Waffle House : \ˈwä-fəl -ˈhau̇s\ : adjective

1: a clearly misguided old wrinkle

Heavy Rain


Consuming my clothing,
Soaking every bit.
I can't escape.
Drowning in the midst.
Hard to breath.
Patience slows
Wetting the Earth
Feeding its craving.
It is beatuty.
It it soothing.
Lulling me to sleep.
Keeping me cool.
The sound, pound, pound, pound.
On the ground.


Heavy Rain.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Are you a Champ?

-- "Champions do not become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, months and years they spend preparing for it."

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Mr. Brandon Hines - Pretty WIngs


My brother acting like Pauline LOL


I dont know how to express it
I dont even want to address it
My flesh is stronger than my spirit
I want what I cant have
I crave it
I can't repress it
Its him Im speaking of
But he has a love
One that couldn't be broken
From me, or he, not even she
I could never taint such a beautiful thing
If he isn't w/ me
Then it wasnt meant to be
A friend he is
A good laugh he gives
Talented mos def
But...why waste my breath?
He wont hear me even if I spoke
He's blinded by the wheels she turns
Without a fancy spoke
She gitters w/out the gloss
Shines w/out the sun
And I wish
I could have her fame in his eyes
If maybe...only....just one night?
But that aint right
I could n'tdo it
Even if I was paid
To break the bond he holds with she

But I cant help but wonder....

She could be me....

Fuck yall

Fuck you
Fuck him
Fuck her
Fuck them
Fuck us?
Hmmph, no!


Invisible man

Im getting sleepy.
I fall asleep.
I wake up to man who makes me weak.
His kiss is like silk.
Taste like honey.
He whispers in my ear just how much he loves me.
His hands are strong and rough.
But his words are soft and gentle.
I lay on his chest as if it were my pillow.
His fingers play in my hair.
And I enhale the air.
I close my eyes kiss his cheek.
Oh his love is so sweat.
His arms envelope me.
Making me feel secure.
I hear the phone ring.
That darn thing.
It woke me from my slumber.
I pick it up.
Say hello.
The voice says wrong number.
I roll over. To an empty space.
Theres no man.
No familiar face.
Where did he go?
I want to scream.
When i realized i was having a dream.

So I write how I feel

I can say how I feel sometimes
My words make me choke
I wish I could express to you
My love, my dreams, my hope
But I can't
Though I am good with words
I can't speak
Rejection scares me most
I can't tell you
Face to face
So....I write how I feel

Ooh Weee He could get it

He don't know
That I watch his lips as he speaks
Think of all the naughty things he could do with his tonuge
While I sleep
How I undress him w/ my eyes
Sex him in my mind
I wish that he could read the thoughts that race through my head
Make them more than fantasies
Be more than that to me
Handle me gently while being rough
Kiss me with passion
My pants
He could unfasten
You know what I wana do to him
But I'll gladly admit it
Im not the promiscuous type
But Oh wee, He could get it