Friday, May 29, 2009

How could I forget to post this here!

thinking about past relationships...

I wish I never knew you
I wish we never met
I wish that I could bump my head
Someway I'd forget
You never said your sorry
You never really cared
You never really loved me
But I knew it
I was scared
I never really had you
I never really knew
That someday I would be writing
Songs and Poems about you
You know what?
I dont regret you
I dont reagret a thing
You made me better
Actually taught me a few things
To never settle for less
Never give in
I can have the king I deserve
And I can be his queen
I never made mistakes with us
I never broke the rules
But you...
You rewrote them
But you made yourself the fool
You had a good girl
Actually Im great
I'm better than who you have
And who you'll ever meet
But you can cry a river
You can cry an ocean
You can cry until you die
I would never know it
Cause I will never see you again
I'll never say hello
I'll never give you the pleasure
Of me cutting your throat
Although I'd never do that
Its just a figure of speech
But now I know you get the point
So let it go
Let it be


Monday, May 25, 2009


When love comes in...
Takes you by storm...
Hold your breath...
Wait for it to turn sour from sweet...
Close your eyes...
Lean in...
Why not indulge...
Love waits for no one...
Time is limited...

...And take it in

If I were a boy....

The only thing that could make me happy is to see you cry.
So I could be the one to wipe your tear stained eyes.
Hold u in my arms & resite how much I love you.
How throughout my day I could only think of you.
I would tell you how I feel.
Vow to keep it real.
You would be mine & I forever yours.
I would rush with open arms through loves door.
I'd tell you about my past & why it didnt last.
So we could start off new, I'd make things better with you.
I'd tell u, u were beautiful and how I cherished your soul.
I strive to make you smile cause thats what drives me wild.
I'd never complain when our days are mondane.
I'd give you the world, flaunt you as my girl.
Never keep a secret, I promise you I mean it.
I would make it my business to make sure you were straight.
& I'd be home like I said I would, a quarter til 8.
I would take you home to my moms, love you in my arms.
Never let you go because my heart would slow.
Thats what I would say to a girl if I were a boy...
But I cant do that cause Im a girl & Im coy.

Mr. Perfect

If you were Mr. Right. I'd be Mrs. Wrong.
Cause we always seems to argue and we never get along.
All I want is to love you, write you a song.
Consider me optimistic cause I know we'll never work.
If I was the summer, you would be the fall.
My love for you is strong, but yours for me is dull.
When I say I love you, you dont say I love you too.
And when I say I need you, you act as if Im supposed to.
But you fail to realize Im not here by default.
Im here because I want to be and not cause its a law.
I dont have to love and I dont have to need you.
You think that if I wanted to, I couldnt bare to leave you.
Mr. Perfect your not perfect. In fact your made of flaws.
But I can stand to deal with them only with love as the cause.
If you dont want me, leave me.
Dont feed me false hopes.
Under promise and over deliver, your chance of losing me is on the ropes.
Im not Mrs. Perfect.
I never claimed to be.
But if we work together I'll be the best that I can be.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Love this song!

Ricardo Allen F/ Chris Brown -
Ghost in the mirror

"Who is this girl in the mirror
She's looking right back at me
She screams
but I cant hear her
Who Do I see

4:57 am Emotional moment

Im crying; because the one person who has told me I was stupid for wasting my last dime on my dream has come to me in his own way and told me that he admired me. That he saw great potential in me but he didnt want me to make a wrong dicision like my father did and ruin my career. Before, I felt like, maybe you are stupid Jess. I faced eviction, using my rent and utility money to go to an audition out of state. I may not have gotten the position that I originally want, but I did gain some fans and friends. And along with that, I gained knowledge. I just knew I was gunna go up there and show out, put everyone who came against me to shame & I didnt, infact I choked. Just when you begin to go over the edge of egotistical, God has a very special way of making you remember who you are, who made you and where you came from. Humility will take you far. I am so glad that I have the family and friends that I have. Without them I would be a lost cause. If you have talent, no matter what your gift or craft, remember that God created it special for you. Love him by loving your gift, yourself, and others. Never believe you cant do what you feel your destined to do. If you have a dream; go for it. Even though there may be some who doubt you, dont let their doubt warry your motivation. Stay fast to the goal, pray, be humble, excell.

P.S. My brother isnt a dream crusher after all!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Dear Love ♥

Dear, Love

I wrote you a letter, but you didnt reply.

So now Im writing you asking you why?

All I asked was that you check yes no, or maybe.

I didn't ask to ride in a tricked out mercedes.

Or for a guy who wants to sex me up so he can bring me down.

I just want somebody whose gonna stick around.

For the times when Im mad or sad. Even PMS'n

Did you not write me back to teach me a lesson?

I know in the Bible it says, that Love is patient.

But when I think about love, I start to get anxious.

I wana know what its liked to be in love.

Even if my guy turns out to be a scrub!

If he loved me enough to tell me he did.

Then it would be all good, and happily ever after we could live.


Im still waiting for you to write back.


Just a bit of positivity!


Last night when i was sleep.
I dreamed that you were gone.
So far away you couldnt love me.
or wrap me in ur arms.
I cried when I woke up.
The horror still inside me.
But then i looked to my left.
And you were right beside me.
Dreams hold some truth.
So if you plan to leave.
Kill me just before you go.
So i wont have to grieve.
I love you so much.
It isnt fair.
And i pray to God it wont come true.
The events of my nightmare.

This is who I am....

I am...

More than you can see...
More than who you think you know...
More than what Im made of...